Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2006 March
2005 October
2005 September
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
2004 January
2003 December
2003 November
2003 October
My Links
AngryTeen's Blog
Beachpaws's Blog
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| TWO Without.. |
| 10.30.03 (10:37 pm) [edit] |
Two days without him, and it's not even a weekend. Pretty good huh? I'm assuming that I won't be seeing him until after the weekend since his GIRLFRIEND shall be down yet again. I'm guessing she'll be down every weekend now that they're official. I feel stupid because I know I'm kind of jealous of her, but not because I want him. I KNOW I DON'T WANT HIM! Not even a small part of me wants him. I think I'm just jealous because we started hanging out with him at the same time and he chose her, and well she's PRETTY. Actually according to him, she's PERFECT. She's pretty, smart, nice, drives a cool car, and rich. Not that those things matter to me, but that's how he describes here. I don't even want to try to compare myself to her, because I know she's prettier, and that what he said. I guess this jealous thing is a typical girly thing.
Whatever, anyway, so I did good by not seeing him for two days. He wanted to hang out last night, but I had to go to church, then work on sociology, and then study. I avoided being on AIM today, and I had a full day. He might want to hang out tomorrow before SHE arrives, but that is if his other NEW friend doesn't hang out with him. I am so just backup for him. :oops: I wish I wasn't put in this position.
|
|
|
| |
| I Felt Mean...I Should Have Been.. |
| 10.28.03 (8:03 pm) [edit] |
I didn't answer his call. I ignored all FIVE phone calls, but I felt mean doing it. He called me one after another. It could have been important. It could have been an emergency. I was mean, and didn't answer his call. That's when GUILT set in, and I saw him online, so I told him I was sorry for not answering his call, but I was working out (I was!!). So he wanted to hang out, and then I was trying to be nice, and not be so blah.
Things were OKAY, that is until we met Jason. Yes we met someone today, and I don't know why, but he kept talking to us. He was either trying to hook up with him or with me, probably him. Anyway, so this Jason guy asks us "So are you guys like boyfriend and girlfriend?" and I quickly said "NO!" and then he says "I'm dating someone much better looking than [i]her[/i]." :x He gets me so mad!!! What a freaking JERK! I just flashed my keys at him, turned around, and walked away. At first I wasn't going to just leave him, but then as I walked away, I involuntarily started walking faster and faster, making him catch up with me. What a jerk! Then he tries to make me feel bad by saying that I always say no that we're not going out like I'm saying I'm too good to go out with him and that I say it like he's shiit. I don't! I swear I don't, but I got some of my anger out.
|
|
|
| |
| This Is Why I'm A Geek |
| 10.27.03 (10:37 pm) [edit] |
I forgot to say that I am a big dork because I have already bought the American Idol Christmas Album, and you know I'm bumping it right now. I love Justin! Nobody really loves Justin, but I do! I love his voice. I mean yeah, I love Clay, Ruben, and Tamyra...but I also love Justin. There is my little rant about liking Justin Guarini.
I don't usually have a good Christmas season, but I'm having a positive feeling about it. I'm trying to be as positive as possible. I want to say it's going to be quite good, but who knows. Oh well...I'm just going to hope for the best!
|
|
|
| |
| Slowly...Slowly... |
| 10.27.03 (10:33 pm) [edit] |
It's working, I guess. I'm FAZING him out. I'm not calling him, not that I ever really did before, and he hasn't called me. I hadn't talked to him since Thursday when I again REFUSED to pick up his girlfriend. I can't believe he actually expected me to pick her up, and that he thought that I would drop my plans with my friends for him. We're friends, but he's not been much of a friend to me, and I only will go out of my way and above and beyond for someone who I think really deserves it. It wouldn't have been like that before, but that's the way it has to be now.
He didn't call me all weekend because Girlfriend was actually down. I think he got some other friend to pick her up, which is good. I can't always be the one bailing him out of things. They had a DELIGHTFUL time, and I'm glad. I am so glad for him because I never once wished him to have a bad time. They seem to be getting along famously. I'm just worried that both of them, especially her, I think they're just rushing into things. They say they're in love, and I don't want to doubt them, but sometimes I just think they need to know each other and to be with each other more before they declare they're love for each other. I could be wrong. They could absolutely be in love with each other and I kind of hope I am wrong. I wish nothing but the best for him. I just think he needs to grow up and learn some lessons, and I'm not up for teaching him. I can't teach him common courtesy and how to treat a friend. He should already know how to do that.
|
|
|
| |
| Slowly...Slowly... |
| 10.27.03 (10:32 pm) [edit] |
It's working, I guess. I'm FAZING him out. I'm not calling him, not that I ever really did before, and he hasn't called me. I hadn't talked to him since Thursday when I again REFUSED to pick up his girlfriend. I can't believe he actually expected me to pick her up, and that he thought that I would drop my plans with my friends for him. We're friends, but he's not been much of a friend to me, and I only will go out of my way and above and beyond for someone who I think really deserves it. It wouldn't have been like that before, but that's the way it has to be now.
He didn't call me all weekend because Girlfriend was actually down. I think he got some other friend to pick her up, which is good. I can't always be the one bailing him out of things. They had a DELIGHTFUL time, and I'm glad. I am so glad for him because I never once wished him to have a bad time. They seem to be getting along famously. I'm just worried that both of them, especially her, I think they're just rushing into things. They say they're in love, and I don't want to doubt them, but sometimes I just think they need to know each other and to be with each other more before they declare they're love for each other. I could be wrong. They could absolutely be in love with each other and I kind of hope I am wrong. I wish nothing but the best for him. I just think he needs to grow up and learn some lessons, and I'm not up for teaching him. I can't teach him common courtesy and how to treat a friend. He should already know how to do that.
|
|
|
| |
| I Refuse To Be Used...AGAIN |
| 10.21.03 (10:46 pm) [edit] |
OOH!! He gets me so mad! :evil: I hate him sometimes, I seriously do hate him, and that's a sad thing to say about someone you've only known for a month. I thought we were cool, ya know, just friends, that was fine. Then he starts to get all "friendly" and then he starts getting "friendly" with another girl. That didn't bother me so much, but now they're like for real, and that's still fine with me, but I hate how everything is about her, and how he flaunts it in my face.
Then today he has the nerve to ask me to pick her up on Friday. NO! I refuse to let people, especially HIM, use me because I'm a nice person who drives. I'm not a taxi. I feel so used. I treat him so good. I take him out to lunch, drive his butt around, take him to school, pick him up, buy him shit, and he never says thank you. Then he wonders why I'm all pissed off, and I don't want to get into an emotional conversation, or maybe fight with him.
It's not fair to me. Then one night he had the nerve to say "Can't you ever think about someone other than yourself?" and he was joking, but that really hurt me. It hurt me because I try to do everything for everyone, and as long as we've been friends I've done everything that I could do for him. One day we were hanging out at my house, and I took him to school, and when I came home I saw that he left his phone. I was going to just bring it by the next day, but then I realized he didn't have a ride home and he couldn't call anyone, so around the time he was getting off of school I went to pick him up and took him home. Not even a thank you.
He makes me feel like I'm obligated to do it, and I'm not. He makes me feel like I'm not really his friend if I don't do things for him. I do what I do out of the kindness of my heart, but he doesn't know that. He doesn't know that because he doesn't really take the time to get to know me. Sometimes I feel like he gives more of himself to other people rather than me. I had this issue before with someone else, but I mean he treats other girls, other friends more like he's their friend, and I'm more like a person just to chill with. I mean if he were to introduce me to people it would be like "This is Kaylie," not "This is my FRIEND Kaylie." Ehh. It's getting too difficult.
I should just leave him now before it gets harder. :cry:
|
|
|
| |
| A Place For Myself |
| 10.21.03 (5:41 pm) [edit] |
|
I started this blog because I needed to be completely CANDID! I don't want to feel like I have stuff to hide! Everyone found my last one and then I felt I couldn't say EVERYTHING that I needed to say. So, yeah, this is the new blog!
|
|
|
| |
|
|
